iHate Being Foreign Bacon
by jkeoni
Summary: Soon after her life is saved by Freddie, Carly begins to show growing affections towards him. As they grow closer, their intimate thoughts are explored as they contemplate on the future of their relationship. And how will Sam react?
1. iRandomly Tweet

**iHate Being Foreign Bacon **

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A/N: iCarly, characters, iSaved Your Life (ISYL) are creations of Dan Schneider. This story is centered on the events of iSaved Your Life, so beware if you have not seen it yet. I felt the special went fast for half an hour, so I tried to flesh everything out. This episodes was great in terms of character development, especially Carly and Freddie. I made character thoughts into Twitter status updates to gain more insight to each character. Some "tweets" are directed at other characters. The story will jump from narrative to Twitter status as the story progress. More things will be explored such as things that probably happened. As always, read & review. Enjoy

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**iRandomly Tweet**

A seemingly normal day, as the iCarly web broadcast was in full swing. Carly and Sam, wearing crazy head attire, were in the midst of a **George the Bra who tells ghost stories **bit. As the camera was rolling, Carly and Sam were listening unenthusiastically to George, the bra who tells scary stories. George, the scary story telling bra, was not particularly living up to his name on this occasion.

""When the rinse cycle began, the washing machine starting to wobble and make _strrrannge rummmbling _noises," George the Bra spoke in his spooky sounding voice.

"Okay, this ghost story is going nowhere," Sam said not amused by the story.

"You're not scary," Carly replied.

George the Bra continued, "Just wait, then finally I called customer service and they told me my washing machine was out of warranty," George then began making spooky ghost howls.

"Anything else?" Sam asked waiting to hear something interesting about the story.

"Can I come wash some clothes at your house?" George the Bra asked

"No!!" Sam annoyed whacked the floating 34C sized bra into the air.

"Get outta here, ya bra!" Carly whack George the Bra away.

"Leave"

"You bad bra, you," Carly scolded as George flew away.

"Please"

Carly turned her attention back to the camera, "Okay. Now a lot of you guys have been emailing and texting us about…" Suddenly Sam screamed and ducked with her blow tube ready to strike.

"What?" Carly asked.

"I thought I heard Spencer," Sam answered.

"He's night fishing with Socko"

"Okay," Sam reluctantly stood up and continued with the show.

Carly turned to the camera to explain the web viewers," Sorry, Sam and Spencer are involved in a little game this week."

"It's called Assassin and it's not a game," Sam pointed her blow tube at the camera.

"They use blow tubes with little paintballs and try to get each other," Carly continued explaining the premise of the game.

"It's serious chizz. Carly lost on the first day."

"Spencer whacked me while I was eating toast."

"And I got Freddie while he was doing a camera test. Show 'em, Fred-bag!" Sam said excitedly.

The technical producer, Freddie, cued up the monitor. On the video screen, Freddie was shown, with Carly behind the camera.

* * *

"Tilt it down?" Carly said.

Freddie examined the lens, "Yeah… wait not that much back up"

"m'kay…like this?" Carly sweetly asked. Then suddenly, Sam stormed into the room, yelling her war cry, "ARRGH"

"No… no… Sam… not now…wait," Freddie said as he anxiously tried to aim his blow tube, but it was too late. And with an orange blob of paint on his shirt, Freddie was out of the game.

* * *

Sam cheered to the camera after looking back at the footage, "I blow, I score, and attack"

"So the only two people left in the game now are Sam and my brother, Spencer."

"Not for long… Spencer gonna git got," Sam added pointed her blow tube closely at the camera.

"I apologize for her grammar"

"I'm uneducated but I'm a lot of fun," the blonde joked.

"It's true," Carly chimed in giving her co-host friend noogies to her head.

Sam then aimed her blow to Freddie's camera, "Now to close the show…"

" No Sam, don't" Freddie said, already sensing Sam's intentions. With one shot, a splattered glob of green painted lay directly in the middle of the camera shot.

"And we're not clear," Freddie ended the web show, rather annoyed at having to clean the green paint out of his camera.

_**

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**_

SassyShay

_It's just another day at Casa de Shay. We just finished wrapping up our latest webcast. Freddie's still a little cranky since Sam shot a paintball into his camera when we closed out the show. He looks so cute when he's cranky. It's been really crazy ever since we've had our Assassin game going on. Things have been getting really intense. So now it's down to Sam and my brother, Spencer. I think that those two are getting little carried away with this game. It's gotten both of them so paranoid. Every time Spencer leavers the apartment, I have to act as his look out. I hope this game ends soon so we can all go on with our lives. _

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_**Baconluver**_

_Man, there is no way I gonna lose this game. I'm just so close to winning. But then again, Freddie never really had a chance against me, and I knew Spencer had Carly's number. Now it's just down to me and Spence. A battle of true wit and skill, where only those with nerves of steel shall prevail. Now I all need now is just one clean shot at Spencer and I will become the lone survivor, the one true assassin. Spencer ain't got no chance cause "Mama play to win." _

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_**artfool77 **_

**_at sockodude_**

_hey just back, Nightfishing was a blast. We should go again some time. Now time to claim my throne as the "Assassin King of the World"_

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_**techFreddie92**_

_Almost time to film that iCarly dare. Just finished cleaning my camera... got the last of the paint off the wide zoom lens, thanks Puckett. Now we're heading downtown to film our sketch. An iCarly fan dared Carly to brush random peoples' teeth for a dollar… in a bunny suit. I have to say, she looks mighty cute as a bunny though. It looks like it's gonna come down… hope it doesn't pour on us while we're shooting. Agua. _

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_**Baconluver**_

_**at artfool77- **_u r in some serious chizz, boy… do you think you can handle it?

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_**artfool77**_

_**at Baconluver- **__bring it on. And remember, always watch your back. _


	2. Battle of Wits

**Battle of Wits**

**Disclaimer: iCarly and iSaved Your Life are creations of Dan Schneider.**

**A/N: Man, three updates with three days, a personal record. Hope you guys like the first installment, sorry if it's little redundant since it's basically a retelling. Hopefully added stories (i.e accident scene, Sam's reaction)in further chapters and Twitter status will make up for it. Don't forget to review. Enjoy**

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_**SassyShay**_

_Bunny suit. Check. Toothbrush and toothpaste. Check. All set for the dare. Now, just need to meet with Freddie and off we are to brush the teeth of random people. _

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Carly, in her pink bunny suit, was coming down the stairs getting ready for meet with Freddie. What didn't she know was someone was lurking in the kitchen. Then suddenly Spencer sprang up from the kitchen counter as shot a paintball in Carly's direction. Luckily for Carly, it had hit the wall. After looking at the splattered spot on the wall, Carly glared at Spencer, not looking too pleased as she had her hands on her hips.

"I thought you were gonna be Sam," Spencer tried to plead his case.

"Gimmie it," Carly commanded.

"No, I need it," Spencer clung to it as if it were a child.

"Give…me… _**it**__," growled the girl in the pink bunny suit. _

Spencer reluctantly forks over his blow tube, "Now how am I gonna defend myself when Sam…" but before Spencer could finish his sentence he was cut off. Sam charged down the stairs in a war cry.

"RAAHH" Sam cried furiously

In an attempt to put an end to the craziness, Carly stepped in between of Sam and Spencer, "Stop it…stop it. Give me your blow tube."

"But all I want is…" Sam said having her blow tube readily at hand.

"eh," the pink bunny interrupted at every chance Sam tried to speak. Feeling no need to argue, Sam surrendered her blow tube.

Carly turned her attention to Spencer, "You stand up." The older Shay obediently stood up as his little sister proceeded to scold.

"Now, I'm putting your guys' little Assassin game on hold until we finish shooting this dare for iCarly. Are we clear?"

Feeling it unnecessary, Sam and Spencer tried to argue.

"Just give us…" Spencer said

"But why can't we just …"

Carly wasn't about to negotiate, "Are we clear?" she repeated.

"I guess so," muttered Spencer

"Okay," the blonde said under her voice

After agreeing on a temporary truce, Spencer planted himself on the kitchen stool, curious as to why Carly was in a bunny suit to begin with, asked, "So… uh, what dare?"

Sam explained, "An iCarly fan dared Carly to wear a bunny suit and offer to brush people' teeth for a dollar."

"Man, your web show is weird," Spencer chuckled as he shook his head.

There was a knock at the door. As the door opened, Freddie walked in ready with his back pack and camera.

"Who's not ready?" Freddie asked.

Sam threw her arms up in the air, pumped, "Let's do it!"

"We'll be back in two hours," Carly said to Spencer.

"Okay, be careful," Spencer said to Carly and her friends.

The trio responded back to Spencer as they headed out the door.

"Agua," Freddie said

"We will," Carly answered.

"Uh, maybe," Sam replied.

With the kids gone, Spencer could finally breathe a sigh of relief that he doesn't have to watch over his shoulder now that his assassin opponent was tied to her iCarly responsibilities. He walked over to the kitchen and as he went to fridge, he let a shriek. He found that a paintball narrowly missed him, hitting the fridge door. Spencer looked back to found Sam at the door with a mini-blow tube aimed directly at him. Carly had caught up with Sam before there were any casualties.

"Where'd you get a little one?" a surprised Carly asked.

"A good assassin always has a backup."

Knowing that Sam couldn't be trusted, Carly had to double check, "Up against the wall."

Sam assumed the position.

"Feet apart," Carly said with authority as she kicked her friend's feet apart.

"Yeah, feet apart," Spencer yelled back safely from behind the counter.

As Carly frisked Sam, she found another mini-blow tube on her ankle.

"Really?" the pink bunny asked, "Let's go," Carly followed Sam out the door, hitting her butt in order for the blondie to hurry.

After making sure Sam and Carly had left, Spencer examined the glob of paint with his index finger, tasting it before he muttered to himself slyly, "She's a clever one."

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_**Baconluver **_

_**at artfool77**_

_Lucky for you Carly put our game on hold. Cus if that wasn't the case you so would have been out of the game by now. But that's okay, it's just only delaying the inevitable. The clocks ticking and your time is running out. Hehehe _

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_**artfool77**_

_**at Baconluver**_

_Lol. Your idle threats mean nothing to me. Carly put our game on hold since you'd be such easy prey when you're filming. Remember, I can strike anytime and anywhere… mwahahaha. _


	3. The Accident

**The Accident **

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly characters. They are created and owned by Dan Schneider.**

**A/N: New chapter... this includes what happen during some of the scenes that weren't really shown. Don't forget to review. Enjoy**

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On a corner street of Parker and Nickels in downtown Seattle, the iCarly crew had just finished filming a dare for their next webcast. Carly, with the bunny suit in her hands, was glad that the segment was over and was back in her regular clothes. The three teenagers were set to head back to the Bushwell Plaza.

"I can't believe those people agreed to have their teeth brushed by a pink bunny" Carly said.

"I can't believe we made twenty bucks just from brushing," Sam said as she began count a wad of one dollar bills in her hand.

"Say, why don't we head to the Groovy Smoothie, my treat. I'm craving a little Kiwi Strawberry Delight. I think I've earned it," Carly replied.

"Sounds good to me," Freddie said as a began putting away a few cables in his backpack.

"I ain't complaining. _Mama_ could go for a Peach Mango Banana Rama right now"

"Want me carry the bunny suit for ya? Just stuff it in my backpack" the tech producer offered.

Carly smiled at the warm gesture "Why thank you, Freddie."

"If we're gonna make it to the Groovy Smoothie, we better make it quick before it starts coming down," Sam sensed the gray clouds in the sky with the cold breeze in the air.

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_**techFreddie92**_

_Woo hoo!! just finished filming our dare segment for our next web show. Carly bunny made $20 bucks brushing other peoples' teeth. We got done just in time too, looks like it's about to storm any minute now. Carly's got a hankering for a Strawberry Kiwi Delight so we might head out to Groovy Smoothies since we finished early. _

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_**SassyShay**_

_People really ought slow down while driving in the rain. Anyway I'm in dire need of smoothies… who knew brushing the teeth of total strangers can work up such a thirst, especially if you're in a bunny suit. Now off to the Groovy Smoothie! =)_

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_**Baconluver**_

_**at SassyShay**_

_What could be better than a Peach Mango Banana Rama smoothie? A free Peach Mango Banana Rama smoothie when your best friend offers to pay after earning $20 bucks from brushing teeth in bunny suit. Carles you're the best!_

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Carly, Sam, and Freddie walked along Parker St. heading towards the Groovy Smoothie as they looked back on how their latest iCarly segment turned out.

"That bit was probably the one of the weirdest ones we've done for iCarly, at least one that I can remember," Carly commented.

"Hey, on the bright side, we got twenty bucks out of it didn't we?" Sam said

"Easy for you to say, you weren't the one in the bunny suit, brushing the teeth of total strangers, some of which were hobos," Carly retorted.

"At least those hobos don't have to worry about gum disease. Your dentist would be so proud."

"I gotta hand it to you, Carly. You were a trooper," Freddie complimented

"Yeah, the breath of some of those people reeked." Sam agreed with Freddie.

"Maybe for the next iCarly bit… we can…" Carly began crossing the intersection without noticing the incoming traffic. A rusty, old taco truck was suddenly heading towards Carly.

"**CARLY!! WATCH OUT!!"** were the last words Freddie yelled as he pushed Carly out of harm's way. The truck came screeching to a halt, but it was already too late as the taco truck collided with Freddie. Carly was knocked to the ground with the truck narrowly missing her. Clouds of dust filled the scene of the accident as Carly opened her eyes to discover the Freddie laying on the pavement, prone and motionless.

"**OH MY GOD!! FREDDIE**!!" Carly, with tears in eyes, frantically yelled as she ran to the side of an unconscious Freddie.

Sam, who witnessed the entire incident, was in state of shock and panic, "Oh my god…that truck could of killed you Carly…and Freddie saved you…"

"Oh my god… is he alright? I didn't see in time to stop. You guys came outta nowhere," the driver called out as he emerged out of the taco truck.

"I'm okay, but Freddie is unconscious," Carly said to the driver. She began hyperventilating as she knelt by Freddie's head. "Sam! Hurry, call 9-1-1!"

"Gotcha" Sam pulled out her phone and began dialing.

"Freddie? Freddie? Can-you-hear-me? Please-say-something… anything. Please! Just-wake up!" Carly began pleading for any signs of life.

On the phone with the emergency operator, Sam was already being hysterical, "HELP! WE NEED HELP!.... CALM DOWN?... YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN… SOMEONE'S BEEN KNOCKED LOOPY BY A TACO TRUCK AND… Where? Uh… we're….we're on Parker and Nickels Street, two blocks from the Groovy Smoothie…HURRY, HURRY!" Sam turned to her friend to reassure her, "Okay they're on their way."

"Freddie hang in there… help's on the way" Carly spoke softly as she held Freddie's hand.

Sam began to regain her composure as she felt her stomach grumbling, "Well, as long we're waiting…" she turns to the taco truck vendor and whispered, "Can I get a taco?"

"SAM!" Carly yelled.

Sam innocently said to the taco vendor "…make it to-go."

* * *

EMTs arrived at the scene as people began crowding the streets to see what was going on. Freddie had regained consciousness but was still mumbling in pain.

Carly and Sam watched as the EMTs placed Freddie on a gurney and wheel him into the ambulance.

"Sam, can you do me a favor?"

"Anything, what is it?"

"Can you go tell my brother what happened? I think I'm gonna accompany Freddie."

"Sure, I'll let him know."

"Thanks." The two embraced.

"Hey Carly… it's gonna be okay. He'll be fine."

"I hope so."

"I know he will," Sam said trying to bring her spirits up. As the two girls departed, Sam, with taco in hand, hurried to the Bushwell Plaza while Carly stepped inside the ambulance. Sirens blared as the ambulance raced to the hospital. With tears streaming down her cheeks, Carly could not take her eyes off the boy who had saved her life.

"_This is my fault…I'm so sorry Freddie. This never would have happened if I was watching where I was going," _Carly thought as she caressed Freddie's forehead with her hand.

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_**artfool77**_

_ahh is there anything more beautiful than the perfect pizza pie? _

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The aroma of pepperoni and cheese filled the kitchen, as Spencer saw that his dinner was finally ready.

"Okay my pizza, time has come…oh yes!" Spencer pulled out his pizza, oozing with melted cheese and greasy pepperoni. Feeling rather chipper, he began singing to his pizza as it steamed, " _Who's a pretty pie!"_

Just as he was about to enjoyed his pizza, Sam came barging into the room in a wild panic, "**SPENCER!!"**

At first sight of his Assassin opponent, Spencer retreated, shielding himself behind his pizza "Hey! No, Carly said the game's on hold until…"

"**FREDDIE'S HURT!!!"**

"Yeah right, I'm not falling for that…"

Sam threw Spencer's pie to the ground, with the most serious expression on her face, "I'm not kidding. Freddie's hurt!!"

Realizing that Sam was not kidding, Spencer asked," Wait… what happened?"

"Carly was crossing the street and a big taco truck came around the corner and Carly didn't see the truck and so Freddie ran out and pushed Carly out of the way…" Sam explained as tried to catch her breath.

"Is Carly okay?" Spencer removed his oven mitts as he sensed the severity of the situation.

"She's fine but Freddie got hit."

"Okay, okay, did you call 9-1-1?" he asked.

"Yeah, me and Carly both did."

"Oh man, I better call Mrs. Benson at work" Spencer reached for his cell phone. He was obligated with the difficult task of informing Mrs. Benson that her son had been badly injured. Being Carly's legal guardian, Spencer can relate Mrs. Benson. As he began dialing his neighbor's phone number, Spencer noticed Sam eyeing a taco in her hand.

"You bought a taco?"

"Uh-huh" Sam said.

"…From the truck that hit Freddie?"

"Well, me starving is not gonna help him," Sam said bluntly as she takes a bite out of her taco.

* * *

_**Baconluver**_

_This taco could use some use some hot sauce… maybe Spencer has some in the fridge._

* * *

Mrs. Benson was at her work desk when her cell phone began to ring. She looked over at the call ID reading "_Spencer Shay_."

"Hello?" she answered.

"_Hello? Mrs. Benson? It's Spencer. I have some really, really horrible news to tell you…_

"Horrible news!? What horrible news?" Mrs. Benson's motherly instincts began to kick in as she immediately thought of her son, "**IS IT ABOUT FREDDIE? WHAT ABOUT FREDDIE? WHAT HAPPENNED TO FREDDIE?"**

"_Look, I don't know how to tell you this so I'm just gonna go ahead and say it,_" Spencer closed his eyes, took a deep breath and braced for himself, _"Freddie-got-hit-by-a-taco-truck-when-he-pushed-Carly-outta-the-way-now-he's-at-the-hospital…"_

"**WHAT?! MY LITTLE FREDDIE'S HURT? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?"**

Spencer tried to calm and reassure her _"I don't know exactly how it happened but the girls called 9-1-1, and he's on the way to the hospital right now. I can meet you at the hospital if you'd …_

Mrs. Benson stood up from her work desk and ran out of her office knocking down several of her co-workers, "**DON'T WORRY, FREDDIE. MOMMY'S COMING!**

Back in his apartment, Spencer was still on the line unaware the Mrs. Benson had left, heading towards to hospital, _"Hello? Mrs. Benson? Are you still there? Hello?"_

"I think she took that well…" Spencer said as he hung up, got his keys, and left for the hospital.


End file.
